what it’s like || five parts

 middle of it  

   part one

it’s like i’m walking through life with an elephant on a leash.

she keeps it slacked and doesn’t need anything from me.

on the wood chip trail she breathes deeply and lets the branches brush her sides.

down the aisle of the grocery store she keeps her eyes down avoiding the fake light

while i walk stunned that people aren’t shocked to see her.

in my house we coordinate our efforts, making sure to leave enough room for others to pass.

there are times the rooms in life are so small

she’s getting climbed on and crawled over and walked under

all the while invisible.

there are times she finds a friend, a near mirror image and we all walk together.

i love her because she simply is.

she is the facts, no story attached.

part two

it’s like i have a classroom of needy, scared, tired, pent up, invisible children spanning the ages of infant to 13.

it’s like a side job, a lens for the rest of my living.

it’s like living my life and tending to their needs all at the same time

and bit by bit they are getting met


  part three

it’s like i’ve been swimming in only the top few feet of a river

the water warm and predictable

no undercurrents, no predators,

the frozen bottom slick and smooth

 and it’s like the river bottom cracked, the frozen melting

hairline fissures that leak from the depths

jagged chunks that span the width jarring loose and letting a flood in

it’s like the water i swim in gets colder

until it mixes together…and one can’t be separated from the other

i find holes in the frozen and dive down

trusting there is beauty on the river’s true bottom

part four

it’s like a child running up to me,

wide eyed and frantic, crying and mad

barefoot, sun dress, small legs, fine hair

blurting out stories

tattling the tales denied

pointing fingers

she runs over

regardless of time or place

surprising me in the aisle of the grocery store

she must have been hiding behind cereal or the soap

church, bed, wal mart

school, car, fair

forest, prairie, lake

out of the blue

a sneaky strong thing

  part five

it’s like the moment i see her

others come too.

slightly older with shorter hair

slightly younger with confused eyes

jeans and high tops

hairspray and small wrists

brave smiles and swirling stomach

embarrassed and ready to bolt, one lets the others speak for her

defeated and confused one shuffles and shifts her eyes

sullen and pissed off one leans on a wall testing me with her mere presence

they flood over sensing relief.

and oh, the bliss to know the power i have

to guarantee them it’s over now.

then it’s like i’m on a horse, wearing a cape riding through and gathering them up

it’s like i’m a summoner, small animals and children circling my feet

it’s like i’m magic, healing everything i see


4 thoughts on “what it’s like || five parts

  1. Deeply moving. Truth is, you’ve always been a summoner. It’s a powerful gift I’ve seen in you ever since you came into my life. Everything that makes you who you are has gently yet most powerfully summoned my spirit any number of times. Thank you. I love you! Dad


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