don’t stop

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don’t stop touching me slowly.
every crawl up my leg is a chance for me to heal.

don’t stop telling me i’m beautiful.
i’m not afraid of it anymore.

don’t stop wanting me.
i’m practicing it not being conditional.

don’t stop choosing hymns for sunday morning.
i’m ready to notice what my mind says.

don’t stop reading scripture about god as protector.
i like to purge myself of the pain.

don’t stop praising god’s undying love.
i like to wonder about it.

don’t stop lamenting for those who are hurting.
i want to consider myself worth of compassion.

don’t stop announcing yourself.
i’m grateful not to startle.

don’t stop asking me what i want.
my “nothings” have been replaced with “i don’t knows.”

don’t stop asking me how i am.
no matter what i tell you, there is truth in it.

don’t stop asking me to tell my story.
it’s like you just told me you loved me.

don’t stop telling me jokes.
laughter is the greatest escape.

don’t stop offering me drinks.
i know why and when i do now.

don’t stop giving me food.
i’m a baby again with all my needs met.

don’t stop remembering the times i seemed happy.
i am starting to believe it wasn’t all a show.

don’t stop remembering the times i seemed scared.
i no longer deny it.

don’t stop saying it’s okay to cry.
someday i won’t hold back.

don’t stop encouraging me to let go.
i like to see what i have a death grip on.

don’t stop praying for me.
i like to imagine the purpose of it.

don’t stop sending me quotes and pictures and cards.
i’m letting myself be seen.

don’t stop hugging me.
it feels different with my shell cracked.

don’t stop chewing watermelon gum or using dial soap or drinking tang.
every memory of the smell is me releasing it.

don’t stop telling me your dreams about me.
they may or may not be for me.

don’t stop sending me good vibes.
i think it’s an exchange.

don’t stop avoiding the topic.
i’ve come to love the elephant.

don’t stop telling me that nothing can change your love for me.
being scared of love is different than being scared of pain.

cottonwood

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One thought on “don’t stop

  1. Kristin, I want you to know that I continue faithfully to read your words, even as the focus of your blog has changed. I want you to know that I worry for you, but also that I believe in you — your community, your strength, your resources, your spirit, your ever-expanding capacity for love. This post is full of wisdom and generosity. Continued courage, friend. – Carrie

    Like

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