my wide eyed self on this earth for forty years
rosy cheeked, wispy hair
calling myself dee dee, knowing my place in the world
running naked in the austrian mountains, on your mark get set go
getting found when lost at preschool, the stained glass adding color
owning a brown messenger bag knapsack for kindergarten, a plastic lined front pocket
sitting on my first grade desk under the kind allowance of our teacher, legs swinging over the edge
hunting for mushrooms in the forest preserve, posing for a picture
holding the weeping willow’s branch, swinging across the chasm of ditch
wearing white high top gym shoes laces undone, riding a red and gold bmx dirt bike
folding the flag in perfect triangular fashion, keeping it off the ground every day after school
acting as peter pan in the school play, my pouch full of gold glitter feet clad in felt
taking pictures, sending film off in the mail for developing delaying gratification
moving to a town where kids sat outside at night, acting braver than cars
learning to drive, the broken board of the garage causing no shame
riding mopeds barefoot in cut-off levis, white tshirts, the eagles from our lips
thin and crispy pepperoni mushroom pizza dipped in creamy italian, red coach our next stop
hand sewn prom dress, little children watching me leave
card games on a dorm room floor, peaches and cream carpet cleaner
nude volleyball under the full moon, women suddenly all the same
sitting in a wading pool inside, three of us not too many
claiming a classroom as teacher and student, the windows making one wall
wearing my grandmother’s dress, my mother’s shoes, committing to love
dole passionfruit juice in a home that felt absent of adults, npr chiming the day’s news
shelves from bricks and boards, creating a job that was all i wanted
fertility chart on bright yellow cardstock paper, an elevated temperature through day 39
mama toto lotion from the body shop across new skin, white bottle with blue lacy font
holding my baby in a red polka dot jumper, signing a contract with a name that still felt new
batik fabric holding earthly remains, rainbow yarn knit to welcome my son
women committed to saying god and fuck in the same sentence, cheese and homemade jam
lamenting over the existence of the tv show survivor, later hosting a party in its honor
dishes the colors of the rainbow, three decades of life determined a fiesta
life cereal with cold milk in a hospital bowl, breakfast in one hand another baby in the other
bubbles with preschoolers and elders, grandpa gus drinking the bubbles like a shot
getting the high score on a pac man game, moments later a worker pulling the plug and loading it up
chicken strips and every dipping sauce available, diet coke cooling the warm greasy air
sir isaac lattes, red and yellow coffee shop setting the stage
painting my door red, finding the right balance of orange and pink
standing in a room with people i knew twenty years earlier, energy made clear
eating tamales with no question of what, men dancing to high school musical as dessert
with strength and choice turning smoke to fire, wholly tired and satisfied
my wide eyed self on this earth for forty years
Happy birthday, to someone I am sure I have known for a thousand years. You are amazing.
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“I celebrate myself and sing myself” -Walt Whitman
Bravo!
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“Think where man’s glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends.” (Yeats). Thanks for sharing. It’s so hard to capture a lifetime, but these small moments paint such a big picture. The small moments are my favorite.
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Glorious details, and so real. An honor to catch several references. Happy 40th, Kristin!!!
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How delightful that public nudity was mentioned more than once…Volleyball hasn’t been the same for me since. Thanks be to God for creating a person as fucking brilliant as you! Love you, Dee Dee.
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So pretty, your words.
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