fervor:  great warmth and intensity of emotion.

mama 392

i love this word.

mama 393

i love the number of people i know who live with fervor.  i have a small friend who lives with so much fervor she can move beyond boundaries.  i remember my three grandparents still living with fervor through steady reading, prayer and consideration of the past.  i watch my friends parent their children with fervor that results in children knowing they are wanted.  i see strangers in layers of clothes holding cardboard signs and maintaining eye contact with anyone who gives it back.  i love the fervor of humanity.

i turned 39 a week ago. (though not long ago i thought i would be turning 38, so that was weird.)  i wonder about this 39 thing.  it seems like i should feel older.  i still have many moments when i wash, fold and put away laundry consistently in a week and i think, “wow, that’s like a grown up.”  or when i go to bed with a shiny kitchen sink and smooth counter and think, “yup, that’s the grown up thing to do.”  these moments don’t seem like mine yet.  maybe that will come with more age.

mama 395

so it is with gratitude that i am learning how to live with the warmth and intensity of emotion that comes from my grown up core (and claim the fact that one of my eyes is WAY bigger than the other).



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