i’ve seen this before

i glanced at my daughter at the table and i had a split second of being back 7 years.  in our little rosewood house.  with the wall to wall carpet that i hated.  with the new thin oak trim that i wished was old and wide.  with the hiding nooks and crannies.  with the backyard cozy and sheltered with clumps of trees.  with a reclaimed sense of joy after months of dull and complicated grief.  with a one year old boy with round blue eyes and tight bronze skin.  with a 5 year old girl with hair like a bird’s nest.

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but this isn’t naomi…this is eliza, my five year old of today.  my one year old is 9.  my 5 year old is 12.  we have the expanse of this big old house.  we listen to the kids long for wall to wall carpet. we have new nooks and crannies.  we still claim the quest for joy.  and gratefully, we have the memory of the precious years gone by.

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2 thoughts on “i’ve seen this before

  1. Missing the past doesn’t equal dissatisfaction with the present. Even deep satisfaction with the present doesn’t eliminate the very human condition of longing for the good of what’s passed. Appreciation of what’s been is “heart fuel” for what’s yet to be.

    The photo of Eliza is magical. It doesn’t only remind me of Naomi when she was five, but quite easily also of you when you were a cute little five-year old. AND, if I squint just a certain way, I can even imagine the picture being of Oma, Irene Neufeld. It’s no seldom thing to watch Eliza IRENE do this or that and for us to be reminded of her Omi, your Oma, my Mom, Irene. If I were to make a movie called “the life of Irene”, Eliza would be the perfect choice for “Irene as a five-year old.”

    What precious gifts you all are.

    Like

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