this might be a first in over 12 years. i have 6 hours alone. at home. i turned up the heat. i’m wrapping presents, making presents, watching movies on the computer, eating chocolate, gazing at the advent candles, drinking a fresh pot of coffee. i feel like i’m on vacation. this isn’t how i usually spend my time. right now it is so quiet i can hear water running through the heater and the hum of the fridge. when feelings of guilt come, i whisper gratitude.
and i’m about to order a pizza for myself. to be delivered.
(whispering gratitude now)