for almost 12 years we’ve had at least one child in our bed.  when naomi was a baby we had two cribs set up in our room and planned on using them.  the first night home i told jerry i couldn’t sleep with her in the little crib next to us.  in his most logical voice he said, “well, then bring her in bed with us.”

that was the start.  we got rid of the crib and never even had one for micah or eliza. the knees in our back, the arms slung over our necks, the extra warmth in winter, the moments of smiling at each other over a couple of extra bodies.  we don’t regret a moment.

naomi has chosen her room for the last few years (i actually don’t remember when she moved out). most recently it was eliza in our bed and micah in a bed on our floor. we’ve enjoyed it, claimed it, knew it was our choice.

about 2 weeks ago we started the great exodus out of our room and into their own.  i asked them at breakfast what they would want to feel safe and cozy in their own rooms.  twinkly lights and more pillows were the requests.

eliza still resists, asking why grown ups get to sleep together.  i don’t have an answer for her, but it’s kind of like when i weaned them as toddlers.  i am sure enough that we need this change that i am able to comfort her, sing “hush little baby” and tuck her back in bed.  we come back every 4 minutes, though she is always asleep by our second visit back.  eliza does come in to “warm up” at some point in the wee early hours, but that is fine with us.

12 years.  what a milestone.

11 thoughts on “sleep

  1. oh…how cozy and warm family you have.

    For you to know, it’s common here in Indonesia that parents and children sleep together when they were young. Actually my brother’s family is doing it too (because of many reasons).

    Maybe when they grow up they won’t want to sleep together again but, it will be a sweet memorable time and it makes bond between siblings.
    I still remember the time i and my sister share a room. Indeed she became my closest sister ever.

    There is time for everything. Time to be together and time to be apart.
    no regrets needed :)


  2. you have no idea how your example helped form our lifestyle . . . i remember your visit when evan was just days old. said I couldn’t imagine putting him in a crib and knowing that’s what you were doing with nene was such a comfort. we too nursed for a couple of years, tried to replace the word no with what to do instead, and still have an almost 11 year old who climbs in bed with us now & then . . . and i agree with the other posting . . . a time for everything . . .but keep the big bed for the return visits :)


  3. BTW – our 18 month old nephew, Otis, sleeps with us all the time when he stays over . . he sleeps as long as someone is next to him . . Evan joined us too but Otis snores so that didn’t last very long!


  4. This is how it’s always been for us- now three little girls in the bed, and we couldn’t be happier. I don’t know how people do it any other way!

    When I was little we slept with my parents as well, until at some point we sisters moved into our own bed that we shared until I left home…my brother slept in his own bed in his own room and I always felt sorry for him.

    I wonder when my girls will choose to sleep with each other instead of Mama and Daddy?


  5. looks warm and cozy… it’s hard to believe that dechen has been either between us, beside us or on us for 6 weeks now, a long way to go till 12 years though! it’s great seeing life on the prairies.
    love from the hills.


  6. Very sweet. I have less patience than you, I think. The jabs and interrupted sleep make me a less than stellar mommy in the morning. And this may be indelicate, but part of me wonders how people make more babies when one is in their bed. Quietly, I guess.


  7. So I’m taking a different tone here: OMG, I’m SOOO glad children have never really spend much time in our bed. I’m half grouchy with a spouse bumping up next to me let alone other little squirmers, whiners and shakers.


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