i used to feel like i was balanced, that i had different roles, but like a seasoned waitress carries her plates, i held them all evenly.
now i feel divided. i literally switch aprons between preschool and home. i switch shoes between inside work and yard work. i switch computers between work and photos.
i’m running back to the kitchen to grab one plate, deliver it, then grab another, then go get the one i just delivered and put it back, then go get another one, on and on.
i’m not sure it feels worse, just different. as i am able to spin my reality, i can suggest that by being divided, i am truly in the moment i am in. or i can suggest being divided shows i am moments from falling flat in the middle of grabbing those plates.
i did have a wonderfully rich time at preschool orientation tonight…32 little lives, nervous and excited. me feeling a bit like mama hen graced with dozens of chicks. oh, the honor. and then the pang of how to bring that enthusiasm home…maybe i should keep my preschool apron on.
my mom comes tomorrow and then some serious work time begins. bring it on. i think i’ll give her some plates to hold. i bet they come back squeaky clean.