there were plenty of good moments today…thanks to the joy of friends. but there were many moments that felt as intense and destructive to my patience as a train wreck. such an incredibly c.r.a.n.k.y. eliza, which i know is because she isn’t feeling completely well yet. older kids who get hungry so f.a.s.t. from fine to starving in no time…will i ever be the mom who always has snacks (or dipes or extra clothes)? not today.
i felt intensely used up. done. empty. nothing left.
then there is another plea…
somehow i squeeze a bit more. i felt almost cocky (what is the feminine version of this?) at how i was able to squeeze out a little more giving, a little more patience, a little more time. bit by bit meeting their needs…seeing the trees instead of the forest.
(by the way, this was eliza’s help in cleaning the counter)
but when jerry came home off i went on a walk, with my big fly-eye sunglasses in a gentle winter air. then there was a supper made, some basement clean up with the shop vac (seriously…anything smaller than the diameter of the hose was in trouble), dishes from yesterday, kids to bed
and now peace has arrived. welcome to the weekend, all.