train wreck

there were plenty of good moments today…thanks to the joy of friends. but there were many moments that felt as intense and destructive to my patience as a train wreck. such an incredibly c.r.a.n.k.y. eliza, which i know is because she isn’t feeling completely well yet. older kids who get hungry so f.a.s.t. from fine to starving in no time…will i ever be the mom who always has snacks (or dipes or extra clothes)? not today.

i felt intensely used up. done. empty. nothing left.
then there is another plea…

somehow i squeeze a bit more. i felt almost cocky (what is the feminine version of this?) at how i was able to squeeze out a little more giving, a little more patience, a little more time. bit by bit meeting their needs…seeing the trees instead of the forest.

(by the way, this was eliza’s help in cleaning the counter)

but when jerry came home off i went on a walk, with my big fly-eye sunglasses in a gentle winter air. then there was a supper made, some basement clean up with the shop vac (seriously…anything smaller than the diameter of the hose was in trouble), dishes from yesterday, kids to bed

and now peace has arrived. welcome to the weekend, all.

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10 thoughts on “train wreck

  1. Your patience inspires me…. oh how many times have I raised my voice, instead of just squeezing out a bit more loving, a bit more patience, a bit more understanding. The kids bickering, always hungry, always needing, always wanting, and not often wanting to give in to the other. I’m tired, even on a Saturday morning after 12 hours of sleep, just thinking of it. But then there are mornings like this one: cereal, toast, coffee… books being read on the living room floor and only one minor tiff between the siblings so far… your post will help to remind me that this will be a good day. Thanks.

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  2. Isn’t it funny how it is easier to be patient with other people’s children at school than it is to be patient with our own at home? (or is that just me??)

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  3. was this after your trip?
    whenever i come home from a wonderful inspiring lovely break…my home goes crazy. and it’s mostly ME not them. it’s so hard to go from one extreme to the other.
    we all have these days. i am sure you handled it all better than i would have.
    you always inspire me to watch my tongue…take a deep breath…”soften the lines” of my face…hee hee
    And i love your pink pants.

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  4. Oh, the blood sugar thing is an Epp trait. Aren’t you used to it yet? :) It also happens to be a problem of mine as well. I will call on you for hope and wisdom when all 5 of us (3 kids.. not born yet) are low blood sugar. :)
    I like your cup, too.

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