twisted

p.s. to my last post…


this blog thing is a little twisted
like these branches from yesterday’s zoo trip…
like any scrapbook or photo album
it is easy to remember
only what we see
what was written
and i treasure that
i treasure the grace
of remembering the good

however, i also appreciate perspective.
when i was sorting photos of our zoo trip
i found a video clip that i made by accident:
the video is of the top of the stroller
so basically an audio recording…

i was afraid to listen to it
i remember my moments of frustration
yesterday and today
oh, what would i sound like
what would i hear in my children’s response
i decided to listen with the kids
and apologize as needed

well, that video itself was okay
but it didn’t matter,
i was reminded of my longing
to hold myself accountable
with my kids
these dear ones

i am so grateful
that i don’t single-parent more often than i do
my heart swells to you who do it
for a moment or for always

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8 thoughts on “twisted

  1. yes, yes, yes…i too find myself falling way short of my expectation for perfection in my interactions with my children…how i long to be better…but i am also very conscious of when i do slip up and am adament about talking with them after the fact; apologizing, planning for next time on what both of us can do differently to avoid repeating our mistakes…honestly, you, many times, come to my mind during these moments – because i strive to interact with children (mine and others) the way i observe you in your interactions. you are incredibly patient and understanding, reaching, holding, loving, encouraging – in a word *amazing* in your ministry to the children of this world (yours and others). it does my soul good to know that you too have your moments, and that you can accept that, embrace it – and use it as a way to teach your children how to be when we screw up (because we all do). you continue to be an inspiration to me! thank you…ang

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  2. A good friend and I often talk about how amazing it is that people can single parent and not go insane. Scares my socks off.

    I can’t find your email address, so I respond here – yes, portland. Stumptown is coffee (fantastic) and also a general nickname for the city. I love Portland – this is my second time living here (last time for college, now hopefully for good).

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  3. It’s nice to know that we’re all human and have our limits. (and don’t always perform optimally when pushed beyond them.) But, in knowing you, I’m sure that the good outweighs the bad a million to one. I feel so blessed to be around you as much as I am because you inspire me with your patience and creativity and problem solving. (my girls, I’m sure, are glad of it, too :)

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  4. I just hope I have the patience and compassion for my children as I do with my pets (who I don’t credit often enough as my children….laugh if you need to…but they are so much of my world and inspiration).

    Kristin, I seriously think you should upload that tree picture to http://www.printpop.com and see if it sells (ask Ladd for details). Its a beautiful picture. Well done.

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  5. i certainly have plenty of those moments when i would not want the recorder on. it’s odd (and maybe i’m going out on a limb saying this). . . the practice of blogging somehow ups my level of accountability. i find that i look at our life differently — seeking out pieces to hold in our memories in a more cognizant way. and sometimes (though not always) i also find myself thinking, “now would i like to post the tone in my voice during that conversation?” and it does seem to raise my awareness somehow.

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